Changing One Thing Can Change Everything

OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE – PART 21 OF 31

Scientists have confirmed something we’ve noticed for years: patterns can be interrupted with one new choice. You don’t have to strip mine the whole mountain to find the gold. You don’t need to change everything at once to change. By shifting one element of the pattern, the pattern must change. When you shift an element of the interaction, you’re no longer sleepwalking through the same routine.

One of the most powerful ways to change one thing is shifting from blame talk to conscious heart talk.

Examples:
• You say “I” instead of “you” when discussing an issue. “You’re not listening to me” shifts to “I wonder how I can communicate effectively.
• “Why were you flirting all night at the party?” shift to “I got scared when I saw you talking to your old flame.”

You can also change one thing in your body to change the whole dynamic. For example, you can open your body posture, find your relaxed breath, make an entirely new movement while talking or drop the words out entirely. You can create the relationship of your dreams—one choice at a time.

Read the full series: Our Biggest Relationship Wows