Tag Archives: Featured
You Don’t Have to Completely Understand the Issue to Let Go of It
OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE - PART 15 OF 31 Many people have the same attitude toward relationship issues that they hold about certain vegetables (you know, like rutabaga) they were made to eat for their own good before desert could be served. They think they have to do the play-by-play…
Respond Or React? In Each Interaction You Grow or Defend
OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE - PART 14 OF 31 Let’s get right to the acid test for your close relationship, for any relationship really--getting undefended in the right-now moments of your days. It’s SO tempting to get righteous, indignant or downright peeved when it really looks like your partner is:…
Take On Your Partner as an Appreciation Project
OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE - PART 13 OF 31 If you are like most people, you intend to appreciate, you know how important it is, but you really don’t have an expanded appreciation vocabulary and you get seduced by the siren-song of worry, complaint or the compulsion to point out…
Let Your Mate Be Your Ally, Especially When You’re Stuck
OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE - PART 12 OF 31 When we decided to end blame and criticism in our relationship (yes, you too can do this), a tangential surprise occurred. We stopped seeing each other as the bad guy when we’d feel a jangle in our connection. The criticism habit…
Attention is the Currency of Relationship
OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE - PART 11 OF 31 Most of us learned that grownups are supposed to be emotional islands, self-sufficient and independent. This strong belief has truncated a vital source of support that we all require lifelong as much as food and water—that’s ATTENTION. Grownups need attention as…
Your Body Knows—Give Attention to More Than Your Thoughts!
OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE - PART 10 OF 31 One of our cats, Greta, loves to literally hurl herself at us in the morning to get attention. She’s so excited to have us up that she can’t contain herself and tries to climb up our legs or swoon back into…
Turn Fear into Flow to Give Fresh Fuel to Your Relationships
OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE – PART 9 OF 31 At the bottom of relationship issues you’ll find one central filter that generates separation—fear. The culture got on the adrenaline-fueled roller coaster of fear several decades ago, so many people don’t realize they’ve been pickled in fear perspectives and images for…
You Can Breathe Your Way into Relationship Bliss
OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE – PART 8 OF 31 Stress often makes us breathe up into the shallows of the chest rather than down into the space of our bellies. Or you might just stop breathing in a startle response, compress your breathing into invisibility or kink your aliveness hose…
Every Aspect of You Wants to Be Loved. By You.
OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE – PART 7 OF 31 Does this sound familiar? When I lose 10 pounds I’ll be able to find love. When I finish my degree, I’ll be more attractive to potential partners. When I (fill in the blank) I’ll be ready for a relationship. At the…
Blame And Criticism are the Junk Food of Relationships
OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE – PART 6 OF 31 Ahh, the crackle of breaking open the bag of crunchy, salty, fatty yummies! Blaming and criticizing—you or others—releases a burst of adrenaline, which has about the same effect on the quality of connection as junk food does on your health. Let’s…
Committing Gets You Into The Game: Recommitting Lets You Create a New Game
OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE – PART 5 OF 31 Committing still has a pretty formidable rep—many people confuse it with being restricted and controlled. Or they think, if I commit then mess up, it’s over. We’ve found that using the true power of committing is the key move to solve…
Saying Something Real Creates Right-Now Intimacy
OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE – PART 4 OF 31 One of our biggest relationship wows has been learning the power of authenticity. Being honest and transparent creates THE doorway to relationship magic. Something real doesn’t have to be profound; it just has to be real. You notice what you’re experiencing…
